Today’s guest post is brought to you by Brenda Boitson, a wonderful writer and lovely person. Today she writes about her main writing project, a story that began with her husbands diagnosis with cancer.
In July 2008 my husband told me I needed to tell our story, to write it down and share it. He told me this while laying in a hospital bed. I began writing our story soon after he died. I would spend hours at the local cafe crying over my chai and netbook. The words poured out of me.
As I come to the last few months of writing our story I struggle with accepting that my good story, my best story, my dream, came only after the death of my husband. The worst thing that has happened to me in my life has inspired me to achieve one of my greatest dreams: to publish my own book. I know that he didn’t die so I could write the book. Or, so I tell myself. I know that part of telling this story is for personal gain, for his request, but also as a healing process for me. So if I finish the book will I be ultimately healed? If I am done telling the story, and I can hold the completed memoir, will that be the end of our story?
I am in the midst of achieving a dream that I have held for more than a decade. The dream did not come to fruition in the way I had planned with a college degree, a high paying corporate media career and wealth. Instead it came with an 8 year delayed college degree, a barely making it job, and debt. I do, however, have inspiration and hope. I know my story is worth telling because I see the affect it has on others when I share even a tidbit of it.
My nightmare gave way to my dream. I don’t know that I’ll ever have closure on that combination but I know that whatever achieving this dream brings me will never be worth his loss. In turn, it may encourage enough people and inspire others in ways greater than my loss. So, my dream to complete my memoir continues even if it does have a slightly altered happy ending.
You can read more about Brenda and her nightmare of a dream at her blog.