1. the sickness/delusional belief that one can affect meaningful change in another human in the course of a Facebook thread, either by superior logic, snarky comments, demeaning attacks, or linking to a particularly life-changing recipe on Pinterest
a. characterized by self-righteousness, argumentativeness, or the lack of understanding that Facebook users:
1. inextricably link their profiles to their own persons (ie “Look at me! This is who I am! This is what I do!”)
2. are legally bound NOT to ever use the phrases, “Good point,” “I was wrong,” or “I take it back”
3. think cheesy pictures with slightly altered cliches constitute a well-formed argument
b. usually also accompanied by a lack of awareness that Facebook itself:
1. is set up in a way that escalates conflict through the use of notifications of ongoing comments
2. draws others to the fray by use of the newsfeed (ie Jane commented on Sam’s status: “You’re an idiot”)
3. discourages people from unfriending because if they do, the person they want to unfriend will no longer see the spiteful comments meant for them to see.
Side effects include: high blood pressure, hatred towards high school friends who hold different political views, excessive time spent on the internet, the feeling that the world is “going to hell in a handbasket,” broken computer mouses, carpal tunnel syndrome, fingernails bitten down to the quick.
– Blogpostinfluentosis (the likes of which the writer of this post may or may not be suffering from)