Thanks for the letter. It was good hearing from you…I guess. Glad you’re doing well. It’s hard to believe it’s been 129 days since we broke up. I know, I’m still counting, which probably isn’t a good sign, but try not to get your hopes up.
I hear a lot about you through our mutual friends. Bill is always talking about Survivor. Bryan weeps when he mentions that Lost ends this year. My mom and sisters are all into Amazing Race XXIII.
Speaking of them, I wish you’d stop hanging out at my parents house – it’s weird when I go over there and they’re all talking to you in the corner. What am I supposed to do? They’re my family – I can’t ignore them. I guess it was kind of good seeing you, but I’ve got to admit: just the sight of you reminded me of why we broke up.
I’m not trying to be mean, but really? Is that the best you can do these days? A golf event where they’re still trying to incorporate Tiger, even when he’s 37 strokes behind? A middle round NBA playoff series? What are you doing with your life? More importantly, what are you doing with your Sunday afternoons? I think I even saw, uh, probably not, but pretty sure, you were showing, um…bowling?
My Sunday afternoons, unlike yours it would appear, have actually improved since we broke up – I’ve been reading Jason Boyett’s O Me Of Little Faith, taking uninterrupted naps, and having picnics outside with the wife and kids. You should think about turning yourself off every once in a while, get out into the world. You’re kind of egotistical.
And to answer the last question in your letter…I do miss you sometimes. Sometimes. And I know I’ll miss you a lot next month when you’re showing the World Cup. To be honest, this fall, when the NFL starts up again, I don’t know what I’ll do without you. But I’m taking it one day at a time.
So stop writing. And leave my family alone.