One Christian’s Response to Super Tuesday

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There’s a chaotic angst broiling in America these days. Facebook and Twitter basically blew up as the results from Super Tuesday became clear and He Who Must Not Be Named was declared the winner in many states, his path to the presidency made straight(er). You can feel the tension gathering tighter, like a spring pulling apart.

This fear shouldn’t surprise us. After all, the world profits on it. Our fear (of being hurt, of not having what our neighbor has, of being left out) makes the economic world go round. You can’t sell something to someone who is content with what they have, so we’re pummeled with the fear of being hungry or not having the best car or not having enough sex with the right kind of people. There’s the fear that refugees will destroy our economy, the fear that ISIS is in our backyard. If we listen to those fear-spewing stations long enough, we start to believe them.

In the mean time, our culture continues to feed us fear and angst and watches the bottom line go up. We devour it 24/7 in the news and on the radio and in our social media feeds, and we are sated, but we can’t stop eating it up.

More and more words.

More and more stuff.

More and more fear.

* * * * *

One of my Lenten practices is reading the book of Luke. I was driving down to see a client who lives in the southern end of Lancaster County, and as I drove those long slivers of road that run along the edges of fields and woods, I listened to chapter 24. It’s the story of the events that come after Jesus’ death.

But really, it’s the story of chaos.

From the other gospels we know that all kinds of chaotic things happened when Jesus died. There was a storm, a splitting curtain, and formerly dead people walking the streets of Jerusalem. There were angels and frightened guards and an empty tomb. There were arguments about what had happened. There was uncertainty and disappointment.

There was a lot of disappointment.

The one person they had hoped would lead them into a new kingdom was dead. Now what?

Then, in the midst of these chaotic days, two travelers walk from Jerusalem to Emmaus, a village seven miles outside the city. A third man joins them, and they tell him the story of all that is happening, all the fear, all the disappointment, all the chaos. This third man, it turns out, was Jesus, resurrected.

What jumped out at me the most about their interaction with Jesus was that he did not use this opportunity to promise them success, or wealth, or even a worldly kind of peace that might have calmed the turmoil in the land around them. He didn’t, in other words, promise them that everything would turn out okay. The pivotal moment of their meeting didn’t involve him rallying them to overthrow Rome or put the Pharisees in their place, once and for all.

No.

The pivotal moment of their meeting came when he sat down with them and picked up the bread. He blessed it, he broke it, and he gave it.

* * * * *

I once heard a sermon by Henri Nouwen in which he talked about how many times Jesus was described as blessing bread, breaking it, and giving it. Nouwen goes on to suggest that this is the life of the true disciple of Christ, that all this handling of bread was actually Jesus foreshadowing what he would do, and what he would ask us to do.

We are blessed.

We are broken.

We are given to others.

* * * * *

These are chaotic times, no doubt. Sometimes I wonder if my generation has ever seen anything quite like it. But it is precisely the unrest and the fear that requires us to rediscover our foundation as sons and daughters of God.

Be blessed.

Be broken.

Be given.

The Two Things You Have to Stop Worrying About

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“You must once and for all give up being worried about success and failures. Don’t let that concern you. It’s your duty to go on working steadily day by day, quite quietly, to be prepared for mistakes, which are inevitable, and for failures.”  Anton Chekov

My friend Ed posted that quote on his Instagram account a few days ago, and I think it applies to any discipline, any practice, from writing to business to taking care of your children. Of course, it’s rather simple to give up worrying about success and failure momentarily, but to give it up once and for all? That, I suppose, is the real feat.

Why, though? Why must we give up worrying about success or failure? Failure’s always right there around the corner – shouldn’t we be on the watch for it? And success…that sounds like so much fun! So much better than living a life of anonymity.

Here’s why I think we need to give up worrying about those two things. It seems to me that the things we have been created to do are the things placed squarely in front of us. Sometimes these things seem rather far off, rather unattainable, but there they are. Straight ahead. When we worry about success or failure, I think it draws our vision to the right or the left, so that we’re no longer focused on what we should be focused on.

Straight ahead now, my friend, not glancing to the right or the left. The mountain of success rises like a cliff on the left. The canyon of failure drops off to the right. There is nothing but the thin thread of doing, and it’s one step after the other. It’s a dirt path, nothing more than that. But it’s worth following, all the way tot he end.

The next step. That’s all you have to take.

* * * * *

I sent out my twice-monthly newsletter last week (you can sign up for it HERE), and I asked people what they were hoping for. I read every response to those emails and try to reply to everyone. This idea of hope, wow! I got some moving replies (a few of which I’ll be sharing in the coming weeks).

Here is one that jumped out at me:

“This post resonated with me this morning. I hope and hope for writing success, but then I don’t even know what success means and if it’s even worth the struggle.”

How often do we feel that way? We want to be successful, but why? For the money? The fame? The appreciation? I actually think it’s something a little deeper, something we can’t quite put our finger on. And I don’t think what we truly want actually has anything to do with success. This is how I replied:

“Your kind words mean a lot to me. Success isn’t worth the struggle, but the writing itself is.”

I believe that. Success, the hope for success, the promise of success – I don’t think it’s worth all this effort. I don’t think it’s worth the 500,000 words I’ve blogged in the last six years. I don’t think the chance of success is worth the 15 books I’ve written for other people. I don’t think the chance of success is ever worth it. It’s just not.

But the writing is worth it. And if you’re doing what you love, you know what I’m talking about. If you’re growing a business or starting a church or taking care of your family or taking a risk, it’s worth doing, not because of the promise of some future day, but because today, it’s enough. Simply doing it is more than enough.

Is your target success? Are your eyes on failure, doing everything you can to avoid it? Tread carefully, my friend. The path of doing is a narrow one.

What are you hoping for?

Twice a month I send out bonus blog posts and updates on the books I’m writing. If you’d like to receive those emails, you can sign up HERE. Your information will never be given to anyone else. You can also sign up in the right hand column if you’d prefer to have every blog post emailed straight to your inbox as they’re posted. How’s that for convenience?

When a Stranger Rang Our Doorbell

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A few weeks ago, at around 8pm, our doorbell rang. This is normal, not because we get a lot of nighttime visitors, but because our doorbell rings randomly, even when no one is there. Our next door neighbor passed away about a year ago, so when the doorbell rings at night I usually shout, “Paul’s ghost would like to come in.”

Even so, I still check to see if anyone is actually there.

And on that cold January night a few weeks ago, someone was there. It was Jim. He was bundled up and his eyes were watering from the freezing cold wind and he had his laundry bag over his shoulder.

“Hey, Jim,” I said. “How are you?”

“I’m good, I’m good,” he said. “Do you have a compootah I can use?”

Today I’m posting over at the wonderful site, You Are Here. Click HERE to read the rest of the post.

My First Ash Wednesday Service, and a Suggested Lenten Practice For My White Friends

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I’ve never been to an Ash Wednesday service before. This is just our second Lenten season at Saint James Episcopal Church, and last year we couldn’t make it to the Wednesday service, so when we headed downtown yesterday, I wasn’t exactly sure what to expect.

“Stop being so happy,” I told the kids as we walked towards the church. “This is not a joyful service. They put ashes on your head. It’s basically death.”

The kids stared at me as if I’d lost my mind.

I didn’t have anything to be afraid of, though. Reverend Lauren was as kind and gracious as ever, and she welcomed all the children to sit on the carpet up on stage, at the front of the church. She brought out various elements – water, light, oil, and ash – and explained their significance. After she explained the meaning behind Ash Wednesday, she walked around to each of the children and made the sign of the cross on their forehead with the ash.

“Remember you are made of dust, and to dust you will return.”

It was a somber service, yes, but there was a depth to it, a heaviness of spirit that somehow seemed right. I closed my eyes as Reverend Lauren put the ashes on my forehead, and, oh, how human I felt. Suddenly, the shortness of my life was on display for me to see, lasting no longer than the time it took her to mark me. I looked around at my fellow congregants and there was something obscene about the mark, as if I was seeing them naked. But there was also something beautiful about it, as if we had all finally admitted something very important, and now we could move forward.

I opened my eyes, my soul stunned. I glanced over and watched as she did the same to Leo, and I had to fight back the tears. It is one thing to acknowledge your own mortality, but quite another to be reminded that your one-year-old, with his new breath and his innocent eyes, is also marked. He will someday return to dust.

“Remember you are made of dust, and to dust you will return.”

* * * * *

I’ve been thinking a lot about what to give up or take on during Lent this year, and for the last few days one word has been projected into my mind: “Listen.” I haven’t been exactly sure what to think of this.

Then came the recent, trendy firestorms. Cam Newton, the black quarterback for the Carolina Panthers, and all the criticism surrounding him. Beyonce’s new video, Formation, and the backlash against it from many of my white friends. So many issues involving people of color, and so many smug, dismissive, insulting white voices.

Friends, during Lent, I commit to actively listening to my friends who are people of color. Will you join me in this? I say actively because I AM GOING TO SEEK THEM OUT AND ASK THEM TO TALK. My Facebook and Twitter friends. Eric, from across the street. Shayna, my wonderful new friend at Saint James.

For the next forty days, when you feel yourself getting ready to SHOUT your opinion about something that involves someone who’s not white, will you stop, take a deep breath, and find someone of color who doesn’t see things the way you do? Instead of simply spouting your opinion to the world so that all of your like-minded friends can like it or pat you on the back, will you ask people of color why they like Beyonce’s video, and then not argue your own side? Will you ask them how they feel about police brutality without saying anything in return? Will you ask them how they feel about racism in this country and simply listen? Will you ask them how they were treated growing up without comparing it to your own childhood? Will you ask them about the fears they have for their children without dismissing those fears?

Most of us have very deep, foundational reasons for feeling the way we do about certain things. Maybe it’s because of where we grew up, or who we grew up around, or what we’ve seen in the world. Maybe it’s what we were taught, or what we experienced, or what we believe. But other people have seen other things, and if we can stop shouting past each other, if we can stop and listen…I don’t know. It seems the right place to start.

Will you join me in dedicating this Lenten season to listening?

* * * * *

We got home, and we ate dinner, and the kids were playing around the house. I walked into the bathroom, and I caught my reflection in the mirror. The black mark on my forehead shocked me. I had forgotten about it. Instinctively, I reached up to wipe it away. But then I left it there.

How quickly we forget that we are all only ash. How quickly we forget.

 

It’s Time to Leave What is Secure

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Photo by Anna O’Connolly via Unsplash

I think we all have certain time periods of our lives that serve as turning points, the kind of days or months during which everything seems to change. Someone we love passes away. A relationship that meant quite a lot fades. Careers change or vanish. Traumatic moments of abuse scar us, or instances of great love fill us.

These days stand up on our timeline like a lone tree on the horizon. We glance back as we walk away, and when we see that monument to that particular time, it fills us with a renewed sense of hope. Or hurt. Or confusion.

I inevitably think back to the end of 2009 and the beginning of 2010 when it felt as if our entire world was vanishing. If you’ve read my book, Building a Life Out of Words (get it free HERE), you know what I’m talking about. It was a time of great hurt for Maile and I, a time of severe disappointment. But it was also a time for starting over, beginning afresh.

Whenever I think about times like that, transitional periods, I think of the wonderful words of Brennan Manning in his book Ruthless Trust:

The reality of naked trust is the life of a pilgrim who leaves what is nailed down, obvious, and secure, and walks into the unknown without any rational explanation to justify the decision or guarantee the future. Why? Because God has signaled the movement and offered it his presence and his promise.

Sometimes, I think it’s hard to move on in life from those poignant moments because those experiences are tangible, they’re nailed down, and they often become that which brings us security. Even the painful stuff. Even the stuff we think we’d rather leave behind. We cling to it, because it’s tangible or because it identifies us.

Sometimes walking into the unknown looks a lot like forgiveness, or a willingness to move on. Sometimes walking into the unknown is taking a deep breath and trying again. Sometimes walking into the unknown means saying “no” for the first time.

Don’t be afraid to leave what is nailed down, obvious, or secure. Leave that lone tree behind. Set your face toward the horizon, and start walking.

What Do You Refuse To Let Go Of?

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Photo by James Douglas via Unsplash

Money gets unexpectedly tight and I find myself feeling less generous. There’s a shooting nearby and I find myself becoming more leery of strangers. A fellow writer has above-average levels of success and jealousy creeps into my heart, making me feel cynical and on edge. A friend dies, and I find myself tempted to make my life all about me and my family, trying to hold on to what we have while we still can.

But holding tightly to things is not how we were created to live.

The wisdom of the world is the wisdom that says: “It is best to stand firm, to get a good grip on what’s yours here and now, and to hold your own against the rest who want to take it away from you; you’ve got to be on your guard against ambush. If you don’t carry a weapon, if you don’t make a fist, and if you don’t scramble to get what little you need – food and shelter – then you’re just asking to be threadbare and destitute…You open your hands and they pound in nails!”

Henri Nouwen, With Open Hands

Henri Nouwen tells a story of an elderly woman brought into a psychiatric ward. She was fighting desperately with the nurses, swinging wildly at anyone who came near. Why? Because in her clenched fist she held a coin, her last possession, and she refused to let it go.

“It was as though she would lose her very self along with the coin.” But instead of letting go and entering a life of peace, she fought and clawed to keep it.

I look at my life and I wonder, what am I clinging to so desperately that it’s causing me to injure those around me? What am I so fearful of losing? What is inside my clenched fists?

In those moments when I can let go of concern for myself, in those moments when I can trust, I feel my hands opening, and in that release comes an immense sense of peace and love for others. When I can lay aside my feelings of self-preservation and jealousy and fear, my hands can now be used to find and administer healing.

What are we clutching to? What will it take for us to let go?