When You’re Given Years To Live

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“I will dance at your sister’s wedding tomorrow,” she told me, laughing a broad-grinned laugh that turned into a short coughing fit. She composed herself, cleared her throat gently, took a steadying breath, then looked back up at me with a more serious expression.

“I will dance,” she said.

And she wasn’t talking to me in that moment, with fire in her eyes. She wasn’t talking to anyone in the room, no living person. She was talking, quite definitively, to her Stage 4 cancer. She was throwing down. I sensed it shrink back inside of her.

I hugged her.

“I can’t wait,” I said.

This is part of a post I wrote for Deeper Story about my sister’s wedding, my aunt’s cancer, and my love for my son. You can read it in its entirety HERE.

Or, if you’re visiting these parts for the first time, you can check out a short story I wrote last Friday that might be turning into a serial thing HERE. Part two goes up tomorrow.

The Least Successful Realtor (#OvercomeRejection)

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Today’s #OvercomeRejection post is written by Noah Martin. You can find him over at his nearly abandoned blog. Enjoy!

Hi, my name is Noah and I’m a Realtor®. I’ve been telling (and retelling) my friends and family that for months now.

I enrolled in the Real Estate training classes and passed with flying colors the day before turning 18. I passed my licensing test with high scores. I printed colorful business cards.

I also called everyone I knew, sent out 200 post cards, and made a Facebook page.

About a month into the business, after all the training and meetings, I prepared to make an offer on a home. But the client’s credit was as usable as a nuclear waste site. It fell through.

Next, (and weeks later) I showed 8 homes over an hour away from my home. When we were about to sign an offer, the clients changed their minds.  So I talked to more neighbors, trained at more meetings, made more cold calls, showed more homes.

When, a relative wanted to buy a home in the city I was thrilled. Let’s do this! {Finally}. I showed them 10 homes. They found one they liked, I drew up the offer, and they changed their minds. They’ll rent instead.

Months of planting, planting, and planting seeds of communication. Months (and months) of smiling at my friends and clients, telling them I loved my job.  I felt like I was living a lie. I wasn’t successful. I was a waste of time.

That was the final straw that broke my camel’s back.

But only for about a day.

You may not know me, but I’m not a quitter. I won’t let being the youngest and least successful Realtor you know, stop me.

Today, I’ll pick up my phone and make those calls. Today I will make every effort to be the best agent a client can have. And one day, I’ll print on my business cards, “XX years of experience”.

And I will know that every damn tear I cried that first year was worth it. I’ll tell myself I’d do it all over again if I had to.

So that’s what I tell myself today.

Check out some of the prior #OvercomeRejection posts here:

“This Is How I Deal With Rejection” by Kelly Chripczuk
“It Wasn’t My Writing Being Rejected – It Was Me” by Amy Young

“Permission To Try Again” by Lisa Betz
“Don’t Feed the Bear” by Sarah Gingrich

* * * * *

And finally, two quick things:

I posted a fictional short story last Friday, and I’ll be continuing it this Friday (that’s right, mark your calendars – this is only two days away). You can read the first part of the story HERE.

I’ll also be reading some of my material at a writers’ retreat at God’s Whisper Farm in southern Virginia in the middle of July. You can attend the entire weekend or come just for the reading on Saturday night. Check out details about that HERE. Space is limited. 

Do You Know the Chance Family? #100Words

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Today’s #100Words comes from another book that definitely falls into my list of top five novels of all time.
The Brothers K by David James Duncan is a beautiful story of baseball, family, and the tragedy of war. Here are the first 100 words:

Papa is in his easy chair, reading the Sunday sports page. I am lying across his lap. Later he will rise to his feet and the lap will divide into parts – plaid shirt, brown leather belt, baggy tan trousers – but for now the lap is one thing: a ground, a region, an earth. My head rests on one wide, cushioned arm of the chair, my feet on the other. The rest of me rests on Papa. The newspaper blocks his face from view, but the vast pages vibrate in time to his pulse, and the ballplayer in the photo looks serious.

If you’re looking for a summer read, this is it. Duncan also has another incredible book, The River Why.

Enjoy!

* * * * *

In case you missed it, I posted a fictional short story last Friday, and I’ll be continuing it in a post this coming Friday. You can read the first part HERE.

I’ll also be reading some material at a writers’ retreat at God’s Whisper Farm in southern Virginia in the middle of July. You can attend the entire weekend or come just for the reading on Saturday night. Check out details about that HERE.

What the Stranger at the Episcopal Church Gave Me

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Saturday nights on James Street can be a bit lively.

This weekend we were in bed and it was just about midnight when we heard a long SCREEEEEEECH followed by a loud BANG! Accident. The sirens wailed into action, screaming into the neighborhood. My sister sent me a text from where she works at a sports bar down the street.

ARE YOU AWAKE? JUST WONDERING WHAT IS GOING ON AT THE CORNER OF YOUR ROAD AND PRINCE ST! THERE’S A FIRE TRUCK AND A BUNCH OF COP CARS.

I told her there was an accident and soon fell back to sleep. Then, around 2am I heard a loud explosion from the neighboring street, loud enough that the sound wave it made set off a few car alarms. It sounded like an electric transformer exploded, but we never got an official word on that one.

We must be turning into city slickers though, because this time none of the kids came running into our room. They slept right through it.

* * * * *

Earlier on Saturday the six of us walked to St. James Episcopal Church on the corner of Duke and Orange. It’s a truly breathtaking church, and the services are nothing like what this kid, raised in the Evangelical world, is used to, but I’ve found it to be a refreshing change. At Saturday evening mass they sprinkle in the songs of a secular musician, a different one each week, and this week’s was James Taylor.

Even the old folks never knew why they call it like they do.
I was wondering since the age of two, down on Copperline.

After the opening song our four kids went out to spend time with the other children in the garden where they do their children’s class, tending the plants that will later be given to families in need or used for the daily breakfast the church serves to the homeless community. While they were out, the readings were given, the first from Genesis 28, and this sentence stuck out to me:

And God heard the voice of the boy…

And from Psalm 86:

Turn to me and have mercy upon me;
Give your strength to your servant;
and save the child of your handmaid.

And from Romans 6:

For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we will certainly be united with him in a resurrection like his.

What a promise that is. We’ve all felt that union with Christ in his death – we’ve seen loved ones fade under illness; we’ve walked with friends who lose more than they ever thought they could survive losing; we’ve felt the heavy weight of it all. But to be united with Christ in not just his death but also his resurrection?

Sometimes that seems too good to be true.

* * * * *

IMG_2208.JPGAfter the service, a man came up to me and said he couldn’t resist taking a photo of Sammy, nearly asleep on my shoulder (the other three children apparently looking for an escape) as we prepared to take communion. He asked if I would like him to text me a copy before he deleted it.

I said of course, and then we prepared to take the bread and the wine. The body and the blood. The death.

And the resurrection?

Here is the picture of Sam and I, just before the six of us walked home through a beautiful summer evening, the words of the post-communion prayer still ringing in my ears:

…send us now into the world in peace, and grant us strength and courage to love and serve you with gladness and singleness of heart; through Christ our Lord.

And of course the lingering memory of those James Taylor songs took us home as well.

I’ve seen fire and I’ve seen rain
I’ve seen sunny days that I thought would never end.
I’ve seen lonely times when I could not find a friend.
But I always thought that I’d see you again

“Shhh” (#FridayFiction)

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I generally don’t share much of the fiction that I write, but in order to get over the fear, I thought I should try to post a short story here every once in a while. This is a one I threw together this week after spending the last few weeks moving. Which just so happens to be what the main character is doing in the story. I’m still tweaking it, but, well, here you go. I hope you enjoy it. It’s titled, “Shhh”. Let me know what you think.

The row house we had just moved into was long and narrow with tall windows along one side that let in stretching patches of light, at least until we drew the shades down against the summer heat – then everything was dim and unclear, and the long lines of sight down the hallways felt strange. It was one thing when it was well lit and you could see from the front door all the way past the living room, down the hall, through the dining room and into the kitchen, clear at the back. But when the lights were out and the shades were closed, every shadow between the front and back seemed strange, like a doorway into someplace different. Someplace else.

“Babe,” my wife called up to me from downstairs. “Can you hang this picture in Abbie’s room?”

I walked down through all those shadows, and they clung to me, like sweat. It was hot out, and we were trying to keep things cool, so we left the lights out most of the time, and daylight glowed through the slats in the blinds. Boxes sat patiently on the hardwood floors, lined the walls, boxes from a former life waiting to be unpacked, waiting to spill into the new one. My mom had the kids for the day, and except for my wife and I the house was empty.

“Really?” I asked, grimacing. “That?”

She handed me a large, framed picture of a girl holding a parasol. It looked like someone had drawn it about a hundred years ago with colored pencils. The girl looked like a doll, wearing a bonnet and an old-fashioned dress with a light blue flower print, but her eyes were abnormally large and she looked off in the distance, over my shoulder. The picture made me uncomfortable, always had, which is perhaps one of the reasons I had never gotten around to hanging it at our last house.

My wife laughed.

“Yes, really. I think Abbie would like it in her room.”

I looked at it again.

“If I would wake up to this girl staring at me, I think I’d piss my pants,” I said. “And what’s she holding in her hand?”

“It’s called a parasol,” my wife said, smiling.

“I know what it’s called,” I said, but in the back of my mind I was thinking, Not that hand – I’m talking about the hand behind her back. What is she holding behind her back?

But of course I didn’t say that out loud. I’m always looking back and wishing I would have said things out loud.

“It was my grandma’s,” she said, in that all too recognizable tone. “I like it.”

I gave her a skeptical look, but she just raised her eyebrows and poked me in the sternum with each word.

“Just…hang…the…picture.”

“Fine,” I said, sighing. “Abbie’s sleepless nights due to this thing will be your responsibility. That’s all I’m saying.”

I started to walk away and she turned back to the boxes she had been unpacking. I crept up behind her and pinched her butt, then ran for the stairs. She laughed and threw a small cardboard box at me.

“Maybe after I hang this thing,” I said, “you can meet me on the middle level.”

She laughed again.

* * * * *

The third floor was made up of a landing and two bedrooms, none of which had overhead lights. The house was built in 1906, and the third floor had been added sometime between then and now, so the only electric it had ran along the baseboards. I held the picture carefully as I walked up the narrow stairway, trying not to gouge the walls with its corners, but the frame was large.

As I came up into the already-dark landing, clouds outside the house quenched the sun and a distant rumble of thunder approached the city. I was glad the storm had finally come. I hoped it would cut the humidity, maybe bring cooler weather in behind it. For a second it was almost too dark, and I thought about going down to get a flashlight, but then the sun fought back, and dim light filtered in again.

I held the picture up against the wall and felt a chill when I saw the doll’s face, then I laughed out loud to shake the spell, but the sound of my own fake laughter only made the air seem strange, electric, like the lightning on the way. I sat the picture down, deliberately facing it towards the wall, then hammered in the nail.

Or at least I tried. But the nail would only go in so far, and then it felt like I was banging up against something metal. I tried moving the nail, but this time it bent and the hammer dented the drywall. I tried yet again, in a space right beside it. Before I knew it, I had done a real number on the wall, and the nail still wasn’t in very well.

What is going on in that wall?

I thought I had left a box of screws and anchors in her room somewhere, so I walked over to the small closet and opened the door. The doorknob was like all the other doorknobs in the house. They were a bronze color with a peculiar design on the handle, something that looked like a Celtic cross or a clover. There was something very ancient about it, something primal.

A few scraps of old carpet sat on the closet floor, shedding their edges. I pulled the carpet up and underneath it the floorboards were loose and creaking. One was loose. I peered down into the blackness wondering if the box of screws had somehow fallen between the cracks. Something darted from one side to the other. I dropped the carpet and shot up, banging my head on the shelf above.

“Ow!” I said. “This stupid picture.”

I walked over to the wall and slammed the nail in. It still wouldn’t go in all the way, so I bent it to one side. This is the kind of handy man I was. This is how all of my projects normally turned out.

Whatever, I thought to myself, hanging the picture on the damaged nail. Now I HAVE to hang it, just to cover that stupid hole.

I adjusted the picture to make sure it hung level, then walked away, rubbing the back of my head where I had hit it on the shelf. I stopped in the doorway and shouted down to my wife.

“If you have a second,” I yelled, “Come up and look at this picture. I don’t want to touch this thing again.”

“Yeah, right!” she said. “I know why you want me to come upstairs.”

I laughed.

“Seriously, come take a look,” I shouted back at her.

I turned towards the picture again, I guess to make sure it still looked level from across the room. But something seemed different. I walked towards it through the room, my feet creaking on loose boards, my eyes squinting. The sun slipped behind the clouds again, and the room dimmed. I had to get within a few feet of the picture just to double-check what I thought I saw.

“What did you say?” my wife’s voice called up to me from the ground level. She sounded like she was in the bottom of a well, or deep inside the earth.

But I didn’t say anything. I wasn’t sure what to say. The girl’s hand was no longer behind her back. It was up in the vicinity of her face, and her index finger, somehow too thin for a “girl” that age, was now up over her lips.

Shhh.

* * * * *

For the next installment, click HERE.

Crossing To Safety (#100Words)

6626790-MToday’s first one hundred words comes from one of my favorite books of all time, Crossing to Safety, by Wallace Stegner. Stegner also wrote another incredible book, the epic Angle of Repose. If you’ve never read anything by Stegner, I highly recommend starting with Crossing to Safety, and if you like it, move on to some of his other work.

Without further ado, here are the first #100Words:

Floating upward through a confusion of dreams and memory, curving like a trout through the rings of previous risings, I surface. My eyes open. I am awake.

Cataract sufferers must see like this when the bandages are removed after the operation: every detail as sharp as if seen for the first time, yet familiar too, known from before the time of blindness, the remembered and the seen coalescing as in a stereoscope.

It is obviously very early. The light is no more than dusk that leaks past the edges of the blinds. But I see, or remember, or both…

(Crossing to Safety, Wallace Stegner)

Previous #100Words:

Ruthless Trust by Brennan Manning
Found
by Micha Boyett
Spiritual Misfit
by Michelle DeRusha