Tuesday’s Top Ten: Candy BY FLAVOR

We’ve done a top 10 candy post before, but we’ve never broken it down to this level, and it needs to be done.

No longer can we simply present the name of a candy and say it is our favorite, unless we are going to clarify which flavor we are talking about.

For example, it doesn’t make sense for us to say we love Runts, when what we actually love are the purple and pink pieces (while hating the bananas, oranges and limes).

Why am I writing as if there is more than one of me at the keyboard?

Anywhoo…on to the top ten candy flavors of all time (in no particular order):

1) Big League Chew GRAPE

2) Sour Skittles CHERRY

3) Sour Skittles GRAPE

4) Sour Patch Kids RED (what is that, strawberry or cherry?)

5) Laffy Taffy STRAWBERRY

6) Laffy Taffy GRAPE

7) Now N Laters GRAPE

8) Now N Laters CHERRY

9) Swedish Fish GRAPE (no longer in production – trust me, I contacted the company)


Now for a brief list of candy flavors so disgusting most other countries use them as fertilizer, or sift from their tastier counterparts before putting them in septic tanks:

– Black Licorice (including those pink and white pill-shaped things that hide black licorice inside)

– Banana Runts (like eating a curved Calormene scimitar)

– Lemon Sour Patch Kids (redundant?)

– Banana Laffy Taffy (just plain gross)

I expect today’s comments section to be filled with complete agreement, as this is the best candy list every compiled.

Good day.

9 Replies to “Tuesday’s Top Ten: Candy BY FLAVOR”

  1. I’m reasonably convinced I’ve never met anyone quite so wrong as you are about this issue. The bananas are the best thing in a Runts container. Grape is a flavor I would shed no tears in losing from the entire candy universe. Shawn Smucker, you know nothing of candy.

    1. I’m going to refrain from commenting for the time being. If no one is brave enough to dispute your flawed findings, I will return to this comment string.

  2. Typically anything with artificial banana flavoring is vile. #downwithbananarunts

    I’m glad to see that our candy flavor preferences are the same… however, it makes it much more difficult to split a box of Runts with someone who likes the same flavors.

    I must admit, though, I love me some Lemonheads.

  3. My list is quite simple:
    1. Skittles: Cherry
    2. Skittles: Grape
    3. Skittles: Lime
    4. Skittles: Lemon
    5. Skittles: Orange
    6. Jelly Belly Buttered Popcorn
    7. Jelly Belly Chocolate Pudding
    8. Jelly Belly Toasted Marshmallow
    9. Jelly Belly Pina Colada
    10.Swedish Fish: Cherry (a.k.a., the only REAL flavor of Swedish Fish)

    And licorice isn’t even candy. Nothing that repulsive and gag-inducing should ever be allowed to wear the “candy” nametag.

  4. Oh Shawn,
    I guess you haven’t seen the TV show “Dirty Jobs” where Mike Rowe goes to the Jelly Belly factory and explores the “gross flavor” department. Yes, there’s a DEPARTMENT formed to mix up any and every gross smell into a flavored jelly bean. For instance……skunk, vomit, dog food, the list goes on and on. You’ll have to google the episode. It’s a winner!

  5. I wonder how many people who had Big League Chew GRAPE were able to just chew it and not swallow it because it tasted so good. I know i never got much past the 10 second mark.

  6. I remember you and your big league chew. I think this was a food group for you.

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