I – Thou shalt not place your arm over the center arm rest and into your neighbor’s side – it’s just not right
II – Thou shalt brush your teeth and, in hot weather, consider wearing deoderant
III – Thou shalt not read your newspaper in a completely open position, especially from the middle seat
IV – Thou shalt understand that closed eyes indicates your neighbor has a desire to sleep, even if this means he might miss out on a thimble-sized amount of ginger ale or a package of cardboard pretzels. Repeat – thou shalt not wake him for the stale pretzels.
V – Airlines shalt not charge extra for use of the bathroom. Or for one lonely checked bag. Or for the seat.
VI – Flight attendants, while smiling and greeting every single person that enters the plane and acting all flight-attendanty, shall not also be texting. This takes the fakeness to a dangerous level.
VII – Thou shalt not build any more airports as spread out as Atlanta or as chaotic as Chicago or as mean as Philly (I know the Stanley Cup loss was only hours removed, but there’s no point in shouting at someone just because they didn’t see your golf cart full of elderly people coming)
VIII – Pilots shalt not stand at their little door and grace everyone with a cheesy smile if, during their most recent landing, they slammed the plane into the runway so hard everyone’s teeth fell out
Sarcasm aside, a huge thanks to three folks who made the plane ride interesting: Anna for sharing the story of her Vietnamese family’s journey to the US and how she grew up in a trailer with her two parents and 10 brothers and sisters; thanks to the very nice lady from Chicago for her encouragement in pursuing a career in writing; thanks to the traveling-harvester lady from Wichita (I’m so sorry I forget your name already) for educating me about a profession I had never heard of and also for the long emergent/traditional church discussion. Each of you obviously read the eight commandments before I did – I didn’t exactly have commandment II covered yesterday.
And now, sarcasm back in the forefront, a huge thanks…HUGE thanks…to the rather large gentleman who insisted on falling asleep with his arm on my side of the armrest, forcing me to curl up in the fetal position, plastered against the wall of the plain, at 6am on Wednesday morning.
There’s an extra tablet – what commandments did I miss?