Political Parties Change Their Mascots

In an unexpected move earlier today, the two main political parties in the United States changed their mascots.

The Republicans have dropped the elephant and replaced it with their new symbol of power and prestige: a whale.

“Our first choice has always been the elephant,” one high ranking Republican commented on condition of anonymity. “But that’s because we thought it was the biggest mammal in the world. This year someone mentioned that it wasn’t – apparently it’s the Blue Whale. We want that. We want to be the biggest. We want to be the animal that inhales all the tiny little organisms in the ocean.”

The Democrats, meanwhile, haven’t strayed too far from tradition – they’ve transitioned from a donkey to an ass.

“This allows us to reuse all of our current marketing materials,” one spokesperson said. “Which really speaks to our core principles of not spending money on frivolous things, as well as saving the environment – one piece of paper at a time.”

The main criticism of the new Republican mascot is that it so closely resembles Twitter’s “Fail Whale,” including the small red birds lifting it out of the water. When asked about the resemblance, one Republican spokesperson denied any “Twittersperation.”

“The eight small red birds represent the eight swing states that will carry us to victory in this election: Nevada, Colorado, Ohio, Iowa, Wisconsin, New Hampshire, Virginia, and Florida. We especially believe that the change in mascot will endear our party to the coastal swing states – after all, they understand the importance of blubber.”

The Democrats also hope the change will translate to votes on election day.

“We understand that some folks will see this as no change at all, but that’s simply not the case,” claimed a Democratic janitor. “A donkey is a domesticated animal – an ass is wild and unpredictable. This change in mascot is representative of the kind of government we will be running during the next election cycle.”

Twitter has been approached about the similarity between the new Republican mascot and their “Fail Whale.”

Their Tweeted response was, We do not comment on pending litigation #mascotfail.