How to Ensure Your Life Will Not Count

“We were built to count, as water is made to run downhill. We are placed in a specific context to count in ways no one else does. That is our destiny.” Dallas Willard, “The Divine Conspiracy”

But we all know that making our life count means expending an inordinate amount of energy, right? Isn’t it so much easier to go with the flow, just show up and take what comes?

Don’t bother trying to make your life count – it’s far too much work! In fact, here are seven ways to live the easy life and to ensure that your existence remains carefree and meaningless:

1) Watch as much TV as possible. Who needs real excitement when one episode of CSI or House can pump the same amount of adrenaline you’d get from flying into a disaster zone and helping with relief, or helping a local organization fight against human trafficking?

2) Don’t get to know your neighbors. You might find out what they need, and you might have the means to meet that need. Sounds complicated doesn’t it? So stay inside this summer.

3) Do what everyone else does: work a 40 – 50 hour work week, then come home and spend your evenings complaining about work. On the weekends watch 18 hours of football or golf or Nascar (unless those are life-giving hobbies that bring out the best in you, connect you with other people, and help you utilize your strengths…if this is the case, avoid them). Then repeat. Whatever you do, don’t bother wasting time on that thing you love to do – you don’t get paid to do it, right? Then it’s not worth doing or practicing or getting further education on.

4) Don’t spend time with people who are not exactly like you. If they’re not a reproduction of you, they’re wrong.

5) Don’t be passionate about anything. Passion produces emotion, which produces hope, which inevitably produces…disappointment. No passion = no disappointment.

6) Spend all of your money on yourself. You’ve earned it; you deserve to keep it all.

7) Finally, don’t ever take risks. Safety is paramount. Remember Andy Dufresne from “Shawshank Redemption”? He took a risk, and look where it got him: barefoot on a beach in Mexico (ie he had no footwear and lived in a place where people are routinely beheaded by drug lords). Who wants that kind of a life?

Now get out there and live the drab life you’ve been dreaming about.

What are things that you do to ensure that your life will not count? Help us out!

8 Replies to “How to Ensure Your Life Will Not Count”

  1. I’d add that to keep from living your best life you should also keep looking back and regretting things that happened and/or keep looking forward and talking about how great it will be in ten years. The best way to keep life mundane now is to avoid now altogether.

  2. Great points and I love Andi’s comment as well. To worry about things that our totally out of our control is also a good way to waste right now.

  3. I just wrote about risks today. And you’re right. If you don’t want anything to happen, don’t take risks. Nothing bad will happen, but nothing good will happen either.

    I’d also suggest making sure that 100% of your social interaction happens on the interwebs. It’s real, but you know, you don’t have to do anything. (Which sounds like I’m dissing the virtual village and I’m totally not. But it can’t be the whole thing ever.)

  4. Wow thanks Shawn! Great thoughts…here’s another:

    Make sure that your 40-50 hour work week is reinforcing the above 7 steps in the lives of others. In other words, no non-profit work, no church work, and definitely no companies with any hint of social responsibility.

    Great Options include, any career in television/movies/Hollywood, marketing companies that promote sh*t you don’t need, and a writer that (as in Shawn’s case) uses his or her talents to spur others into a state of un-greatness.

  5. Nice post Shawn. I have to admit your points fill me with a load of questions and thoughts.

  6. Do not, under any circumstance, allow yourself to be vulnerable in any way, with any person. Talking openly might lead to embarrassing flaws being revealed, and nobody really needs to know you aren’t perfect…least of all, you.

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